He's a thousand years old. He built a boat. He's our son. Noah.: February 2013

Thursday, February 28, 2013

It's been a while.

"Where have you been?" cried one onlooker, desperately. "What about our Noah updates?" said a woman over a fence. Well, we've been busy. Noah has been snowed uunder ever since he got his jumper-roo. It's practically a full time job: the sun needs spinning; the elephant needs turning and by god that tiger isn't going to get out of the bush itself! Then there's mummy and daddy. Well, mummy has been painting and daddy has been busy watching mummy paint.

Here are some recent photos:

Noah weighs how much?

So we got Noah weighed the other day. When we told him - on several occassions - just how much he weighed, he kept giving us this baffled face:

That's right, Noah, you weigh 14.8lbs.

What an obese boy.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Noah's toys: cat, dog and bear. He loves them all.

Rainforest Jumperoo.

We'd been toying with buying one of these things for a while. The official rules say that he has to be 6 months, "Hogwash" Noah said when we told him, "I'll get in that thing now" and with that, he climbed in and hasn't moved for 3 days. He loves it so much, even though his feet don't really touch the floor yet. He loves turning the elephant; staring at the frog; hitting the parrot; and spinning the sun. Always learning.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Sea Life Centre. Full of obnoxious, smelly people. And fish.

We took Noah to the Ses Life Centre in Birmingham. He loved it so much he bobbed himself. We changed him then continued looking at fish.Our favourite was the smile on the ray's face. It looks like Alien.

Jab time.

First of all: yes Noah is laying down next to a toilet. Call social services if you like, we don't care (we do. So don't; we were just getting him ready for a bath so don't cry).

Now, on with the blog. This week, we had to take Noah to the doctors to get his jabs. We sat in the waiting room with all the other waiting babies and terrified mothers. And a transvestite. I digress.

The buzzer went off: NOAH WEBB: IMMUNISATIONS ROOM 1. Destiny called, we answered. The door was open when we got there. Cheryl had prepped me: "It's horrible" she said, "You can hold him this time seeing as you're doing piss all in your half term holiday" I told Cheryl to calm down but she just explained that it wasn't a nice experience last time when she had to go there alone and hold Noah tight as he stared into her eyes and silently screamed, "WHY?" as the nurse jabbed him.

I got Noah's left leg out. Showed his thigh to the waiting nurse, then held onto him, with my breath held, as she jabbed him...nothing. "Okay" she said, "He'll probably go bat shit with the next one" Another jab. Still nothing. Noah winced, cried for about 3 seconds and then laughed at me.

Hard man.

Anyway, here he is with the bloody cotton balls still on his legs. The most heartbreaking thing is seeing his blood.

Mummy and Daddy photos

It's not all about Noah. Sometimes Mummy and Daddy have pictures too. We like to document what we have been doing and here are a couple of examples. The first is us doing another impression of Bowie's new music video (see earlier post).

The next photos are when we went to the animal rescue place as we inch closer and closer to getting an animal (we got Noah but need another animal to keep him company). Noah slept the whole time that we stroked the trembling, desperate animals so we had to entertain ourselves. The first picture is me pretending to be a yawning cat.

And this is Cheryl's best impression of a terrified, shakey dog. You can't tell from the photo, but she was shaking.

Getting on a storm with uncle Bruxy.

Noah met his Uncle Bruxy the other day for the first time. Uncle Bruxy wanted to call Noah Senna. He nearly had his way as well. They got on a storm:

The camera adds 10 pounds.

Cheryl makes a very deliberate choice to take a number of photographs of Noah for precisely this reason. Sometimes, inexplicably, he becomes extraordinarily fat in photos. He then loses all of this weight by the next photo. Observe. These pictures go: normal, normal, normal, FAT, normal.