Bath time madness

Noah goes nuts about some blow up thing with bells in

Mummy makes Noah laugh

More snoah

'I'm sick of the damn garden daddy' complained Noah. 'Take me to the park.'

Snoah

Noah was pretty nervous when he heard the snow was coming.

However, when he woke up the next morning he climbed up to the window and screamed with excitement. 

He slipped into his snow suit and insisted daddy take him straight out.

Talking with Daddy

He can also play Karl Pilkington. And fat.

We aren't saying that Noah always looks like Karl Pilkington, but he was doing an impression of him here and it was pretty good.

The other one he is getting better and better at is playing slightly fat. Just look at the size of that brick head. He can do that on command. It's like a shit X-Men skill: Fat Head Boy.

The many faces and acting skills of Noah

"Mummy? Daddy?" Noah asked, thoughtfully, "I think I could be an actor." We shared a smile and encouraged him to tell us more. "Well. I can already do loads of faces, so I think I would be suitable for a whole host of different roles." He paused and looked around at the animals in his farm: bear, dog, cat, dinosaur, "It's my versatility that is my strongest asset. I'm like Daniel Day-Bloody-Lewis when I get going." We vehemently reminded him that we don't say 'bloody' in this house, and with that, we agreed to take some pictures of Noah doing lots of different emotions and acting skills..

Shocked

Happy

Cheeky

Melancholy

Realisation

Slightly retarded (slobbery face on demand)

Action

Flexibility for stunts

Me and my dad

Noah misses his daddy when he's at work, so when he comes home Noah just wants to be on him or near him.

Second sleep

Noah tends to be a little more civilised after his second sleep.

A worm's eye view

A worm looked at Noah and this is what it saw.

Milestones

I completely appreciate that the milestones of other people's children is something everyone pretends to be interested in. It's an evolutionary trait - and one that has allowed homo sapiens to thrive - that we pretend to give a shit about other people's children. It's this sense of society and caring for one another that has made us the dominant species - I get that. I also therefore get that, when Noah consciously touches his own feet for the first time, it is truly a groundbreaking, earth-moving milestone for us to watch as his parents and for him as he comes to terms with his body and all the undiscovered things he will slowly learn to do with it; but not everyone at work appreciates it quite the same as me. After regailing the staff in the dinner hall for the five hundredth time that "Noah has started splashing in the bath now", I almost want to apologise to everyone for boring them with yet another inane story (to them). After all, they are just doing what humans have learned over hundreds of thousands of years to do. I know all these things and I still don't care. I am so proud of my boy that I will continue telling everyone every last detail until the caretakers have turned off the last of the lights and the last of the people have left the building.

And so, good people, here is a picture of Noah touching his toes.

Tummy time.

Midwifes and other baby-related nurses are always banging on about stuff we need to be doing and we take no real notice of it. Things like, "Feed him properly; make sure he's warm; stop feeding him skittles; blah blah blah". Yes, we know you've got your precious qualifications but we think we know our baby better than you, we made him, afterall. So if we want to feed him olives so he has a sophisticated palate or give him a "I love mummy and daddy" tattoo then that's what we'll do, thanks.

That said, 'tummy time' is something we kept getting told to do. "It's simple" said Johnny Know-it-all at the Doctors' surgery "You just lay him on his front and put his toys around him - it encourages him to crawl." Anyway, we did it to shut everyone up. Here he is having some tummy time. He actually quite likes it.

The boiler man: late and smelly.

There was a brief cold snap that started last Sunday - don't know if you remember it. I remember it for two reasons:

1. I had to play football in it. It felt like I was a minor character in the movie Alive.

2. The boiler broke down in our house and it got cold.

"Don't worry Cheryl," I said, with a wink of the eye as my phone rang up Scottish Power, "We've got Noah; they will be out here in a shot. They have to be, he is under six months." Two days later, after the boiler started working again on its own accord, in walks a smelly, creepy plumber, clutching his spanner and tool belt with his sweaty, greasy hands. He was like a shit Mario.

This is a convoluted way of getting round to adding the following picture of Noah, wrapped up as warm as we could make him in the baltic living room...

Dog and bear were doing their bit to keep him warm.

Parenthood: the story so far

Noah is nearing the four month mark. He has turned our lives upside down and inside out and yet we feel nothing but a raw, primeval, ineffable, unfathomable, impervious love for him. For anyone who has had children, you will be giving a knowing nod of the head but for anyone who hasn't, you honestly have not got a clue what we mean, with all due respect. You will, of course, know on the day of your first child's birth.

Right now, Noah is upstairs, asleep in our bed after having screamed the house down for a while. At first we were relieved to have him asleep but soon enough we missed him. Genuinely missed him.We sat at the computer and watched videos of him and flicked through our pictures.

There is no real point to this entry other than to say our lives will never be the same again. Ever.

And that's just fine by us.

Noah Webb: Chatty man

A ladies man

Noah gatecrashed his mummy's girly day/night. He made up some excuse that he thought he'd left his dummy in my purse and asked daddy to come and find us. Once he found us he turned on his charm (dribbling and trumping) and wormed his way around them all.