Center Parcs

Before we forget! At Center Parcs, you had a lovely time.

A particular highlight was taking you onto all the different flumes in the swimming pool. You started on the pirate flume in the baby pool, which you appeared to show no signs of tiring of. Then some older kids went down the slide after you before they were supposed to and they must have hit into you in the flume because when you came out, you came out crying.

Daddy told those little boys off.

24 hours later, when recalling that incident, you told me, "Daddy rescued me!"

I liked that.

You didn't like swimming into the outdoor pool - "The smokey one," - because it was cold. You did like the other flumes a lot. That was until daddy took you on the biggest flume in the building. It was so big it had to go out the building. There were several times during that twisting and turning plunge to the bottom when you slid out of my arms and bashed into the chicane. When we were spat out the bottom, you looked at me with a very stony face and said, "I don't like that one, daddy."

So we went back onto the slightly smaller one. Which you loved. I laid on my back and you laid on top of me whilst my arms wrapped round you.

When we got to the bottom of that one, I could smell drains.

It stank of drains.

There was a very quick realisation that I stank of drains.

You had done a mountain of shit. A mountain of shit that had subsequently painted daddy and the whole of the entire world brown.

So we left.

That night. we went to a party. You ended up holding hands with a random girl for about 40 minutes. You dog! You strolled around that dancefloor like the Lord and Lady of the Manor.

Then we watched Frozen again. The end.