You love the planets

There's this video on YouTube that is a song about the planets in the solar system. You discovered it today and watch it on repeat. Here it is:

When it starts again for the four hundredth time, you bounce around and literally tremble with excitement. You say things too, like, "That's the coldest planet, isn't it?" and "Earth! We can live there, can't we? Woohoo!"

We will have to try and get you on video. It is hilarious.

You know what the toys at the doctors are like...

You and mummy had to go into the doctors today because she had a midwife appointment. The surgery was full to bursting with old, piss-soaked people and skag heads after their methodone and whatever.

You were playing in the corner with all of the toys there. As your mummy relayed this story to me later, she said: "You know what the toys at the doctors are like. They are just a huge pile of shit."
Anyway, you were playing with the shape sorter whilst people watched you because they had nothing else to do. You began to struggle because the blocks you were using didn't match the shape sorter that was there - it was just a mish-mash of donated, crappy toys. What made mummy laugh and a few people look at each other, a little astonished was when you turned round to her and said:

"This pentagon doesn't fit, mummy."

You are, I remind you, inside two and a half years old at this point, so it sounds funny coming out of your mouth.

"You're cleaning poo off my knackers"

This little Noahism emerged yesterday after you had had a particularly huge and pooey poo round grandma and grandad's.

Only you pronounce it: "Natters."

Mummy and Daddy go to London!

The other day, your mummy and daddy threw a handful of your belongings into a bag and drove you over to grandma and grandad's at light speed so we could go to London. We went to watch a very talented man called Benjamin Clementine.

Here is a picture of him.

He was brilliant.

And below is some pictures of mummy and daddy on the tube. When we were on the way back to Cockfosters, after the gig, it was late. There was no one else on out carriage and no one in sight in the next two carriages. It was like we were completely alone. Then, in the middle of the underground, the train slowed to a stop.

Then the engines turned off.

Then mummy said this: "What would you do if a huge man carrying a machete came through that cabin there and started walking towards us?"

I told mummy, only half jokingly, that I would use her as a human shield and then run off into the night.

Yucky, I know

Reading words and the alphabet

Showing off, basically.

Singing the alphabet song

Easter videos

You were very lucky to have received your binoculars from the McGees just in time for finding your chocolate eggs. You are currently taking them everywhere so you can, "Make everything bigger." When you first hung them round your neck you said, "I'm like a doctor, aren't I."

Central heating

The other day, Daddy had a heated conversation with the lady at the energy company. Long story short, it turns out our monthly direct debit has to go up. To be fair, our house is always so toasty and warm it's uncomfortable. We turn up the heating and open a window. 

You are saying the funniest things

I know this is a familiar post to be blogging but you are continuing to say funnier and funnier things at the minute. It isn't going to sound particularly good by the time you come to actually read this blog, but now, whilst you are still way off two and a half, the things you say border on magical.

Such as:

(After finding your chocolate eggs this morning in the garden)
"It's a busy garden, isn't it?"

(When getting ready for bed this evening)
"I'm not going to bed, am I, mummy? I can sleep in your bed with you. You sleep there, daddy, and mummy, you sleep there."

There must have been ten different instances of you saying really funny things today but for the life of us, we can't remember them. That's called old age, Noah. That's called senile dementia.

By the time you read this, we are probably crippled by it.

Coming soon: easter videos.