Hello strangers

I've been busy growing

A Noah photograph update

Stop the clock. Noah's first words came at 9 weeks.

Just after we stopped filming, Noah wiped a tear of laughter from his eye and said, with perfect enunciation, "Oh Mummy! You literally make me piss myself laughing. Would you be so kind as to change me, please?"

What a polite boy!

Mummy and Noah at 9 weeks

Noah does a great impression of Droopy

He even gets the hair right.

Thank you, uncle Bruxy

After a couple of weeks lost deep in the inefficient bowels of the Post Office, this morning Noah received a present from uncle Bruxy. Later that day Noah's great grandma said, "look Don, he's got a panda on his jumper!" Grandad replied, "Oh Fran! Only if it's a panda that's been dead for a few years!"

I thought that was pretty good.

"Mummy", said Noah, "I love my new clothes, I look like Captain Jack Sparrow."

Cheers, Bruxy! They fit perfectly and make him look badass!

A double bad day for Noah

Poor Noah had to have his first lot of immunisation jabs yesterday and it did not go down very well at all. It was a bit of an unexpected surprise for his unorganised mummy as well who thought it was just a routine weigh-in, head measurement and ball check. I had to hold him close to me and keep his little legs still so she could put needles in both legs. I explained to him that they have to do this to make sure that he doesn't get very sick. He looked up at me cheerfully and I held my breath. He flinched as the first one went in, took a deep breath and then his face started to go purple and then the screaming started. I wanted to cry. The second injection was no easier for him or me. His tears continued late into the night.

Noah's cage gets a makeover

Baby prison doesn't look too shabby afterall. 

Thanks to the McG's for the lovely dino-bedding.

His cell mates certainly seem very welcoming. 

Just don't drop your dummy Noah. 

What do babies dream about?

Noah: wondering about the mysteries of the universe

Noah, in quite bad taste, said that he had perfected his Hawking impression. He then cocked his head to one side, stopped moving, then said in a robotic voice: "I've been wondering about the mysteries of the universe since I was a baby." We laughed but then said that some people might find that offensive.

Noah is the top picture by the way.

We blew Noah up today

Of course we love him. He is, without doubt, the best thing to happen to us and is amongst the best things that has ever happened in planet Earth's history.

That's not to say he can't be bought down a peg or two every now and then. Sometimes parents have to do what parents have to do...

Click this to see Noah getting exploded...

Highway to the danger zone has never been more apt.

If you are of a nervous disposition or have a weak stomach, look away now.

We were going to call him Maverick, after all.

Signs we loved. This was pre-Noah.

When we started showing these signs to Noah, he kept saying "I think I can remember that one" but there's no way he could. He wasn't even conceived until several countries, two van sales and a bottle of vodka later.

I digress. We took pictures of signs that made us laugh whilst travelling and had always had a blog post in mind where we show some of the greatest hits but we just never got round to it. Too busy, alright? Anyway, here they are in all their glory. We've captioned them with the original text. Enjoy.

Refuse to feed

Please slowly for the noise

Parts of camera

Dishes with Chinese characteristics

Liability of the regional

Immortality-Pill-Making-Furnace

Thus up the hill at the

No tossing

Copulating with dwarves whilst wheelchair-bound people watch area

They returened for more when they found out the BBQ CHICKEN were actually good when they found out the BBQ CHICKEN

Express Lane. Welcome to happiness.

Next widows please

Anyone climbing in this clothes dryer will be asked to leave immediately and will forfeit any site fees. Cheryl immediately climbed in.

Vag

Ernste Wanke Road EXIT 1km

Bees active in this area

LIVE WASP NEST WANTED
LIVE WASP NEST WANTED

U 1 fish? v catch 4U! (Guarantee Yummy)

If the train is on fire, please stand clear of the train.

Someone got out the wrong side of the moses basket

Usually when Noah wakes up he is the sweetest thing you could ever see. His eyes are bright and as soon as he sees our faces he gives us a huge gummy smile and then makes sweet little nearly giggling sounds. This morning Noah woke up and we are not sure what's upset him but he is not his usual self.

We made some excuses about chores we need to do and are just about to drop him over to his G's. We'll pick him up later when he's settled down.

Noah Year's Day.

For Noah year's day we were all invited over to Uncle Alex and Auntie Charisse's house. This was Noah's longest road trip yet and he'd been looking forward to it all christmas. Once again, he was utterly spoilt with presents and was a very lucky boy indeed. This was a particular favourite:

Snitch had obviously been told a lot about Noah so he spent a lot of time trying to sniff or lick both Noah and his car seat. Some photos.

In the rest of the photos Noah looked miserable and spoilt. We told him so all the way home.

Midget nannies!

Kelly invited us over to come and see her finished house. She even invited Noah, although she has made this clear that this is only whilst he is unable to move around by himself. Once he is crawling and walking he is welcome to wait in the car porch. Kelly was a wonderful host and laid on drinks, pasta bake and even a dwarf to watch over Noah for us. 

We all agreed that the house was beautiful.

We showed Noah his baby cage. Or "cot" if you will.

We felt it time to show Noah his room in some detail, including the baby cage that he will be sleeping in when he is old enough. "It's not like a prison" Cheryl said, trying to reason with Noah, "Don't say that, Noah, the health visitor is coming round - do you want to end up in care?" Noah facetiously quoted the films of Oliver Twist and Good Will Hunting and that it turned out alright in the end for their protagonists. Cheryl gave him a stern look and he eventually agreed to be photoed in his cage. Bed.

New Year's celebrations

We did the age old trick to get Noah to go to bed early. He was bouncing around the house all night, excited about bringing in the new year. He kept singing auld lang syne but didn't know all the words, "May all your something be forgot/ and something all the time/ then something else and something else/ de dum de AULD LANG SYNE" (my caps, he was shouting that bit.)

The trick we played was to fast forward the clocks two hours to convince Noah that new years came and went and it was only really 10pm. Then Cheryl and I drank imitation Baileys and berry Magners until the cows came home and Noah woke up. Happy 2013.