Noah is on the grid. He is a human being. He is part of the system. In 300 years, people would be able to search through their family trees and they will be able to find the entry, born in the year of our Lord two thousand and twelve: Noah Sebastian Arthur Webb. Here is the proof:
Cousin 'Toria stayed at home and chilled out with Noah whilst Cheryl and I braved town. We got there very early so decided to get a McDonald's breakfast. We don't like the idea of boring you with inane breakfast stories but I wanted to mention this because we saw a boring, ugly baby. He could only be a couple of weeks old - like Noah. He had long, shitty hair and a boring, boring face. When we looked into the faces of this kid's parents, we saw where his boring face had been carbon copied from.
Cheryl and I shared a smug look as we finished our sausage and egg Mcmuffins.
When we got home and showed Noah his certificate, he said it was pretty cool. Then when we told him about this odd baby we saw he wasn't so impressed, "that's not funny, mummy" he said disapprovingly, "that's quite a shallow thing to say". We agreed and changed his bobby nappy.
What a morning.
Noah should have the ugly baby thing explained to him in greater depth. As senior G, I must remind papa Webb that as a 10 week prem baby he too could easily have fallen into the ugly bracket. He was however, spared that horror by the fact that HIS father was (and still is!) a handsome man. Noah can only get this trait from his Grandad.....
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