"That picture's so cute. Everyone went awww"

Apparently that's a fact. How could they not?

Don't be fooled by the smile. It was probably just a huge trump.

Noah's well into Movember. Noahvember.

When we told Noah that Ashley and Mark were going to come over after picking up a bargain bed in Stinckley, he got really excited. So excited that he literally bobbed himself. After being embarrassed and apologising to us, we cleaned him up and got him ready. Noah asked to be put in some casual clothes because he wanted it to be quite an informal affair. When he came back downstairs, however, we saw how he had accessorised.

What a distinguished boy.

He was, of course only joking. He disappeared back upstairs, had a shave and was back in a flash. Being clean and fresh, Noah was ready. "Bring them in" he said, confidently.

After sharing our possible constipation concerns on Noah's behalf, Mark had a very good farme-related answer: "Give him a teaspoon of liquid paraffin" he said "That'll sort him right out."

"He's not a lamb!" Ashley observed, correctly.

Nevertheless, we've been up Wilkos this morning and have 500ml of the stuff ready.

At least he didn't suggest getting a barrel of water and a brick. Or a barn wall.

What a trumpy boy we have on our hands.

His Royal Highness has been such a good boy today that he has decided to sleep all afternoon. This is great because it means he has been gathering strength for another late night. Great news indeed.

This is video proof that Noah's digestive system works a treat.

Noah and his cousins

Noah obviously likes Victoria and Charlotte a lot because he is summoning the power of light around his tiny baby head just like Gandalf.

Changing nappies: Daddy is still learning

Noah is not able to create memories yet. This is a good thing.

Today, Cheryl went to get her hair cut in town leaving me alone with Noah. Easy, yes? Well, yes, mostly. That was until I needed to change his nappy. That is usually (literally) a piece of piss. The biggest problem is that Noah's favourite thing to do in the world is to play the game 'wee on daddy'.  Well, as I was cleaning his bum with a baby wipe and smothering his baby bits in sudacrem because I love him and I don't want him having a nappy rash, I looked up and saw that he had done a wee...and it had gone all over his own pretty little face. I'm talking drenched, here.

I am a terrible person. 

Noah's cuteness is turned up to 11

Noah loves Mummy

Ungrateful uncle Harvey

I was just tidying up the living room today when I saw a bit of a frown on Noah's little face. I asked him what the problem was but he just looked a little coy and said nothing was wrong. Being his dad, I can tell when something has upset my son so I stopped what I was doing and asked him again. This time, he looked down to the ground and pointed over at a red envelope on the table. I went over and looked at what he was talking about. On the front, Noah had written "For my uncle Harvey, Love from Noah x". Confused, I looked back at Noah and he just said "he left it here, Daddy. Uncle Harvey didn't take it." I gave him a big hug and assured him that he still has other uncles and aunties who love him very much, even if Harvey doesn't.

Here's a video to see what Noah was talking about:

What a prick

Today was the day Cheryl and I were dreading. Today was the the day Noah had his heel prick test. For the uninitiated, a the heel prick test is when the midwife grabs your baby's heel, takes a needle and stabs the heel, making it bleed. As you can imagine, this bit is horrible as it makes the baby cry. However, what is far worse is the following few painful minutes when the same midwife has to keep squeezing the heel, taking five decent blobs of blood. 

Now, those of you who have already met Noah know what a placid, quiet, well read and happy boy that he is. It is therefore hell on earth to hear him screaming that horrible, high-pitched squeal. Cheryl and I were watching through our fingers.

Eventually it was Noah who brought proceedings to a close. He sat up and said to the midwife, "Okay, okay, we're getting nowhere with this. My blood is coagulating far too quickly and it is making it tricky for you to get what you need from my heel." The midwife, exasperated, agreed and asked what he proposed. "Well" said Noah, "I think we should pop the kettle on, have a lovely cup of tea and a sit down before reassessing the situation in a minute." Given this time, we put the whole thing into perspective and it made everything easier to deal with. Before we knew it, Cheryl, me and Noah were waving the midwife off at the door. 

And that was the prick test. 

Grandad (left) and smiling Noah (right)

Today, Noah lost his horrible, dried up cord.

And his face was a picture!

Look away if you have diabetes. It's so sweet, you'll die.

We had to upload this video because, for whatever reason, Stephen can't stop laughing whenever Noah gets hiccups.

That awesome QotSA hit: Noah Knows

Check out the song here...

Thank you, Josh Homme.

Noah got his first package today

Auntie Catherine has sent him a few absolutely beautiful books.

One of them even has a photo of Noah on the front!

Thank you very much, Catherine. We can't wait to read them to him.

Noah's coat amongst mummy and daddy's

Why we love the story of Noah in the bible.

The following is the kind of spectacular quote that has helped to shape the world we live in today. So basically God had had it up to here with all the violence in the world. So he reacted by throwing all of his toys out of the pram and, as Cheryl put it, messing up his bedroom. Are you ready? Here it is:

And God said unto Noah, "The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth."

Genesis 6:13

What a prima donna. Our Noah will have a much better temperament, I'm sure. 

He won't be christened.

He loves Arcade Fire. Who doesn't?

This morning, Cheryl was having a bath and I was chilling with Noah in the bedroom. We were just shooting the bull and putting the world to rights talking politics and literature. After a while, we got to talking about our musical preferences. I asked him what music he likes and he said he didn't really have much of a clue because he was only a few days old. At this point, I turned to YouTube and bunged on 'No Cars Go' by Arcade Fire. Noah stopped talking and was spellbound. Turns out he'd never heard of them before but he fell in love immediately. He said he is going to download their back catalogue.

I think it was the opening lyrics that hooked him in:

We Noah place where no planes go,
We Noah a place where no ships go.

No cars go
No cars go
Where we know

We Noah place where no ships go
We Noah place where no subs go...

So it seems this is Noah's first musical experience!

We are going to get along just fine, I think.

Noah drinks.

Just like biblical Noah, our boy loves his booze. Here is a video of him sinking a pint with his Daddy. Then sleeping. 

Night time is a battle of wits. Mummy and Daddy VS Noah.

So far the score is Noah 1 - 0 Mummy and Daddy.

The battleground: night time.
The prize: sleep.

Last night, we got to sleep at 5am so Noah won. But tonight we have a plan. Let's just see how it goes.

We took Noah outside today

We did this for two main reasons:

1. Noah was getting further instructions from the Lord about the current flood situation. For this, apparently, he needed to be outside to get the better signal from God because "That's what it was like in bible times" and you can't get signal in Hinckley very well.
2. We wanted to put Noah's coat on him that his Auntie Dawn and family bought. It's huge but he bloody loves it.

Noah: The Movie

Coming out 2014. Russell Crowe is playing our son. Cannot wait.

The rain, since Monday, has become biblical.

Whilst Cheryl and I have a few questions about the credibility of biblical Noah's story, we can't help but notice how the weather has changed since our son's birth. Here is an article that got us thinking:

Will our boy have to save the day?

Noah hasn't told us about any divine instructions he has been given as yet but we have bought him some wood, a hammer and nails in case he wants to knock a boat together to get his mummy and daddy through the coming flood.

Noah Sebastian Arthur Webb

Dear Everyone,

This is Noah. He was born at 4.18pm on Monday 19th November. He weighed 7lb 12oz. Cheryl did a very good job and was out of her mind on gas and air. Noah and I found this hilarious. Here are a few pictures we have so far: