Noah's well into Movember. Noahvember.

When we told Noah that Ashley and Mark were going to come over after picking up a bargain bed in Stinckley, he got really excited. So excited that he literally bobbed himself. After being embarrassed and apologising to us, we cleaned him up and got him ready. Noah asked to be put in some casual clothes because he wanted it to be quite an informal affair. When he came back downstairs, however, we saw how he had accessorised.

What a distinguished boy.

He was, of course only joking. He disappeared back upstairs, had a shave and was back in a flash. Being clean and fresh, Noah was ready. "Bring them in" he said, confidently.

After sharing our possible constipation concerns on Noah's behalf, Mark had a very good farme-related answer: "Give him a teaspoon of liquid paraffin" he said "That'll sort him right out."

"He's not a lamb!" Ashley observed, correctly.

Nevertheless, we've been up Wilkos this morning and have 500ml of the stuff ready.

At least he didn't suggest getting a barrel of water and a brick. Or a barn wall.