A good old fashioned sink wash

Noah's got the runs. Every time poor Noah trumps, he follows through a little. It's not been much fun for him or mummy. He even pooed on the new rug. Tired of changing nappies and wet wiping a sore bum, mummy decided it would be easier to put Noah into the kitchen sink whilst she got on with making tea.

Cheryl, "I like how fat he looks in the last one."

When talking about these pictures, that's what Cheryl said.

We just wanted to create a post of Noah looking lovely in his cool clothes. Thank you, Asda.

"Singing"

We have a song we sing to Noah. We have sung this song ever since he was tiny. Here are the lyrics (though they change every time it is sung)

Mu-mmeeee
And Da-ddeee

No-aaaaahhhh
And Da-ddeee

He's a tiny boy
And yes, we love him

What a baby boy,
His face it perfect,

Mu-mmeeee
And Da-ddeee

No-aaaaahhhh
And Da-ddeee


Cheryl rightly observed the other day that on most versions of the song (like the one above) Daddy seems to get more mentions than Mummy. We are a very fair household and we have tried to make sure ever since that Mummy and Daddy, on the balance of things, get equal mentions.

Either way, this song must have resonated with Noah because recently he has started joining in.

He only really joins in the Daddy part.

Ouch.

We have been trying to get a good video of Noah singing along but whenever he starts being filmed, he gets camera shy and shuts up. Or screams...

Teeth brushing

We have been brushing Noah's teeth (and gums) since a very early age but now feel it's time to allow Noah to do it by himself. There is nothing like encouraging independence.

We have also started encouraging him to do other things by himself like making a cup of tea; wiring in a faulty light; and chainsawing down the apple tree.

An increasingly clingy boy

Over the past couple of weeks, pretty much since he had his god awful cold, Noah has been a very clingy boy indeed. We had read about, and subsequently prepared for, this time in Noah's first year: the time he develops some attachment issues. So far in his life, we have not had to worry about such issues as he has always been quite independent and happy to be left. Sometimes for days on end in his room. Whatever.

However, now this face is one we are becoming more and more accustomed to:

With that said, Noah spent this morning with Grandma and she reported back that he had been absolutely perfect. Deadly quiet, she said. Turns out she'd spent the morning walking round the cemetery. You know, where all the dead and grieving people are. No wonder he was quiet. He was probably scared to death. He was certainly too scared to nap round there.

I joke of course. Noah loves the cemetery.

He got home and slept for well over two hours. Perfect time for mummy and daddy to kick some ass playing Stupid Zombies on the iPad.

PS, thank you for looking after Noah, mum...

Noah: Daddy's biggest fan

Every Sunday, I go and play football. Usually, when I get back home, Noah is reading the Telegraph and listening to Radio 4, but today he wasn't. Today, when I pulled up, he was against the window, waiting. Waiting for Daddy. This turned out to be one of my favourite pictures ever.

It's childish but...

Man, do we love photo booth.

Split personality Noah

The original Noah was a confused, drunken old man. Our baby Noah has a split personality. Just watch how quickly he goes from laughing to deadly serious. 

Noah the parrot boy

It's amazing to watch Noah progress. He just starts doing stuff one day. For example, Noah has just begun mimicking us. He has already said 'Mamma' and 'Daddy' but now he is copying certain word sounds. This has perhaps been helped by the fact that Noah has done nothing but snot, cough and sneeze for the past week. Despite the fact that our house is entirely godless, Noah's mummy and I instinctively say, "Bless you". All of a sudden, he started mimicking the sound of saying, "Bless you," only without the actual words.

Just you wait until we manage to capture him singing. Yes, he has begun that too. You will shit your bed when you hear it. Anyone who has heard it so far have spontaneously cried (Cheryl and I).

Learning to shut the stairgate

This is a new completely rational fear of ours. Given about three seconds, Noah is at the bottom of the stairs, looking to start climbing. I told him that it would be a very long way for Daddy to fall from the top of the stairs so if he was to fall, it would be like throwing yourself from Beachy Head.

Noah smiled and began to climb.

Coughing daddy and a bare Noah bum

Cheryl's new favourite thing in the world is the fact that she has managed to capture me coughing on video. She does have a point.

At the end of a busy day

This was recorded nearly a couple of weeks ago now but sums up our lovely little household. 

In 2013 anyway.

A busy old morning

Noah keeps himself incredibly busy these days. First of all, he has a good sleep. Then has a nap. You see, though, how prepared he is to get busy doing stuff (notice also, his clear pronunciation of 'Daddy').

Then he continues the day doing his new favourite job: take all the stuff out the drawers:

That, by the way, is not before weeing on mummy and or daddy.

More chatting

It's difficult to make out here, but Noah is reciting some of his favourite lines from Huck Finn. 

No, he wasn't saying any of the racist words.

Getting gobby

Apart from the blip of Noah's illness, he really has been coming on in leaps and bounds recently. He has become something of a little walker; his can climb stairs like Rocky and he is getting much better at speaking. Here he is telling us who is boss.

I can't tell you what he said because it's too rude.

A rough old week

It had finally come to that time when our new little family hard to start settling into some sort of discernible routine. I was back in work at a new school;  Cheryl was back at work after maternity leave; and Noah had begun nursery for the first time. This is the third full week of this arrangement and we have been struck down with a virus. I say 'we' but I really mean, 'Noah'. Cheryl and I have been really quite under the weather but in terms of poorliness, Noah has really left us in his snotty wake.
In the mornings, he has woken up with bright green, oozing gunk from all the none-mouth holes in his face. This has caused his tiny eyes to swell up and close. It's been like walking in on punch drunk Rocky Balboa every morning.

Even after we managed to clean him up a bit, he has never looked so miserable. Our impossibly happy and carefree boy has had his first real run in with illness and it's been hard for us all.

Luckily, today he has started feeling somewhat better and has been less leaky and less moany.

He's all better now. 

HOLY JESUS CHRIST SWEET MARY JOSEPHINE HE CAN WALK!

A bit.

WOOPS!

So this is what happened immediately after Noah took his steps. We tried to get him to do it again. Daddy lost control of the situation...and...

We were quickly forgiven. We popped the National Accident Helpline advert on. Thank you, Brian Blessed.

Stop the clock, Noah has walked.

Noah can now stand by himself. This in itself isn't news to us. He has been standing unaided for about 10 days (not solid). Earlier in the week he took a little step towards his Daddy, but we were reluctant to call it walking. That would have been an overstatement.

About ten minutes ago, however, the boy took three steps entirely unaided to get to my arms. 

We put him back down and he did the same thing again. Our faces went fat and beamed with pride. "Put him down again!" Said Cheryl, excitedly.

"Already on it," quoth I.

Noah fell flat on his back and banged his head on the solid wooden floor. 

Now he'll never walk again (today).

I am Stephen

This was a video we just found from a little while back. We can see where Noah gets his brains...

Shame the prediction wasn't true.

The message in Noah's eyes

Getting ready for nursery

This week, Noah started nursery. On Tuesdays he spends the day with his grandad. 

He loves this because he is spoiled rotten and gets attention from everyone all day. Then for another two days, Noah goes to nursery. This is a slightly different story...Here is a video of him getting ready with mummy. We like to keep his toothbrush on the floor, before you ask.

Nursery is brilliant for Noah, but they have to do things slightly different there. So despite mummy and daddy explicitly stating how to get Noah to sleep in the day, the nursery has better ideas. So, instead of having his usual 1.5 - 2hours of sleep in the day, he has about a maximum of 20 minutes. By the time I go to pick him up, his eyes are so red and he is a little delirious. It has to be one of the most rewarding things in the world collecting him from nursery. He was in his high chair on both days and when I walked into the room, he went from being a really smiley, happy boy, to crying and reaching for me to pick him up. On the first day, I carried him home and he clung on to my arms and babbled to me all the way to the house. He was telling me about his day.

Peaceful, angelic boy

Here is a video we managed to capture of Noah sleeping and beginning to stir. You can see Daddy asking, 'Is he awake?' 

Sometimes it's hard to tell.

We know how lucky we are. Here's the proof.

We know how lucky we are. If we ever complain about Noah, you should really never listen. Tell us to shut up and go home. We don't really know what we did or what we continue to do, but Noah is a really a perfect baby. Ever since he was less than a month old, he has slept through the night. All the way through. I'm talking a minimum of 11 hours. Once, famously, he slept for 13 and a half hours then napped after breakfast. He truly is a very heavy sleeper. On this particular day, Cheryl had to get him up from a nap because she had to go out somewhere. She had already been making noise upstairs as she got ready and the video starts from the point where she has gone into his room, opened the curtains and started getting his clothes ready.Look how much effort it is to wake up our zombie boy.

The day Noah met a trampoline

Not many people can say they've been on a fifty foot wide trampoline. But Noah can. Uncle Harvey and Oscar tried their best to coax him into doing some jumps and spins but he wasn't so sure at first. As you can see here, he has a frown full of a million questions; not the least of which being, "Where is Foggy?"

No, Cheryl didn't go on the trampoline. She was a big wimpy girl. Unlike Stephen...

Oh, you're hard

Stephen thinks its acceptable to teach Noah that mummy will do whatever he wants and if she doesn't then you should tell her off.

Some of the other stuff he has taught Noah has been a little more Traditional. Noah now offers you some of what he has. He won't actually let you have it. But he does offer it.

Noah, take a good look at your bigot daddy. Your polite, bigot daddy.

The Hoover

Noah is a lot like a dog. We tend to treat him largely like a dog. Not in an abusive or unloving way; quite the opposite, in fact. Like a dog, Noah is wary of the hoover. But he can't help himself.

A castle all for Noah

Uncle Oscar and Auntie Caz went to Skegs recently. They didn't go for a holiday; they didn't want to relax on the beach or swim in the sea. The only reason they went there was to get a castle. They had heard through the grapevine that Noah loves being in the water. They also heard a rumour that his only paddling pool, lovely though it was, only had one ring on it without a puncture. And someone had been spreading chinese whispers about a castle paddling pool that was available to be won at Skegness Pier Amusements.

What is more, it was at a snip of a price of only four hundred and thirty thousand 'tickets'. These 'tickets' could be won by spending about three and a half months at two pence machines on the pier. 'We're going' Oscar said to Caz. 'Get your coat and scarf, we're going to Skegs.'

So they did.

And look how happy they made him.

He got so happy he asked if he could bite my finger. "It won't hurt Daddy," lied Noah.

Foolishly I said yes.

Then he just played in the paddling pool for the next three weeks.

Thank you Caz and Oscar!

EATING

Noah LOVES eating. Nuf' said.

New best friend

Noah will often be found playing in his room with all of his toys. His favourite place by far is his cot. Even if he isn't sleeping in it he is just happy climbing or sitting in it. Seems like daddy loves it too. On many occasions I find them both hanging out in the cot, listening to some tunes on the mobile or reading a book.

Silly daddy!

Bobs

When we told Noah that he was going to nursery, he was so excited he shit the bath.

Then we couldn't get him to stop smiling for a few days. 

It all became quite tedious quite quickly so we tried to get him to calm down and stop smiling for a bit. Nothing worked. We told him Peppa Pig had been slaughtered because the local farmer needed some quick cash. We told him that today he can only have three puddings. We told him the general world consensus on gingers. Nothing. Nothing could dampen his spirits. So we tried doing a water torture on him...

That did it

Bingo