You love swimming

Not just a little bit. A lot. Too much, almost. You are so confident in the water that it borders on dangerous. You have no right to be so arrogantly confident in the swimming pool, but nevertheless, you throw yourself out of our arms and 'swim' about, going up to people and smiling in their faces. You have also taught yourself to lay perfectly still because when you do, you float like a little chunky seal. We wish we could film you swimming about, having a blast in the pool, but the paedophiles ruined that for everyone. 

Thanks, paedophiles.